Glorious, fully caffeinated coffee deliciousness...

I fear it has been far too long since I have blogged about one of the very things I base my blog around... Caffeine! I have to admit, caffeine and I parted ways for a little while there. It was very sad and the coffee growers association called me and asked what they could do to get me back. Yes, there is such a thing as a coffee growers association, but no they did not actually call me that would be absurd, they emailed me... (See what I did there? You thought I was going to be honest but I furthered the fib with even more exaggeration.)

Anyway, it was a very ugly break up. There were tears (mainly from my hubby dealing with a newly decaf me), headaches, depression, and then moving on to a way less attractive source of energy vitamins and veggies and fruit, ack... Vitamins make me puke (literally, most of them do for some reason, sorry TMI) and I have to choke down fruit (I'm weird, deal with it), now I love my veggies, but they don't compare to my caffeine vehicle of choice, coffee (mocha's, latte's & straight up coffee). Oh, the creamy goodness...

But, for a very noble reason, I gave up caffeine prior to getting pregnant (I avoid caffeine while pregnant, if you don't, that's fine, I don't judge). Since finding out that there was no baby, I have been indulging in things that comfort me (probably more than I should) and caffeine comforts me. I know it's probably not the best for me, but I'm ok with that.

I will soon take another hiatus from caffeine when we start trying again, but for now, I am enjoying every minute of every rocket-powered sip of my full caf, skinny salted caramel mocha from Starbucks...

On a side note, my mom and I were having a conversation earlier about my blog and she asked "How do you come up with things to write about?" In the very best sarcastic tone I could come up with, I replied "I am very entertaining, mama, I have tons of stuff I can ramble on about." As you can see by this post, the "very entertaining" part may have been another exaggeration. I am pretty good at exaggerating, maybe I should add that to my resume...

On another side note, during the same conversation, my dad asked "Who reads this thing?" Apparently, he does not see the social impact my blog has on the world. I replied, "I don't know, friends, people randomly searching the web, pretty much every one. My fan base is huge." See what I mean about exaggerating? I'm actually pretty stoked when I check the analytics and and it shows more than 10 visitors!

I leave you with this uber impressive collage of coffee art...

to the moon and back,

Censor me?

No need, I do enough censoring on my own.

Now, when I sat down to write, I had a totally different topic to discuss, several actually (all of which will eventually become blog posts):

• The Paradigm Shift aka When did I become the old one?
• Hot Yoga + Leftover Mascara = Hot Mess aka Do I look like one of those dead party girls found in a back alley on an episode of Law & Order SVU?
• ISO a Bubble for my Son aka This world is crazy and I don't want him to be exposed to it.
• Breakouts & Wrinkles aka If you are old enough for wrinkles, wouldn't it only be fair to grow out of breakouts?

But then, my hubby and I were having a deep philosophical conversation over a deliciously flavored coffee (Pecan Praline, if you were wondering) and it spurred this topic. Like I have said before, this blog is my therapy, so I shall get it out of my head and onto the screen.

I censor myself way too much. I'm not talking about cuss words, and I'm not talking about blatantly calling someone names or the like, I'm talking about my feelings and my opinions and so on.

I don't want to offend anyone... ever. Which I guess isn't totally a bad thing to those around me, but it also makes me a bit of a push over leaving myself wide open to be taken advantage of, but is it really being taken advantage of if I say "yes" even if it is for fear of offending you? It's ridiculous, I even get anxiety over possible offending someone, even if I am defending myself. 

Why? Why am I so concerned? I don't want to be mean to anyone, but, dang it, if you ask if I like the song you are listening to, I should be able to say no. If you ask my opinion, I should be able to truthfully give it to you with out feeling guilty. I mean, for pete's sake, I shouldn't have to proof read and rewrite a 4 line text 10 times before sending because I'm worried about how it will sound. It's so bad that I even try to censor my hubby and the things that come out of his mouth. However, anyone who knows him knows that's darn near impossible.

The bottom line is, I should be able to be me... period. If you love me, you'll appreciate my honesty, if you are a fair-weather friend, then you'll probably be offended, but that's ok, too and I should be ok with that, because if you are willing to not take me for all that I am, then I probably shouldn't have you in my life. 

I don't know where this people-pleasing trait came from, but I'd kind of like to return it.

PS I had my hubby proofread this to make sure it didn't sound to harsh.... Geeze... what's wrong with me? :)

to the moon and back,

Reflection of a day well spent...

It's late, and I'm sitting on my couch, typing and enjoying a delicious cup of choffy lightly sweetened and with a hint of hazelnut creamer, ahhh words can't describe. (Yes, you heard me right, choffy, it is an amazing chocolate drink that is brewed like coffee, only it's ground cocoa beans instead of coffee beans) Choffy is a new obsession of mine. I tend to get new obsessions often, but generally they are short lived. (There was that whole Crystal Pepsi obsession in the early 90's.) Anyway, bottom line it that choffy is amazing, it is however, expensive and the only reason I actually have some in the house is because my mom couldn't drink it (heartburn) so I won the choffy lottery!

As I sit here, basking in choffy goodness (ok, I'll stop raving about the wonderfulness that is choffy, now), I'm reflecting on the day I had.

This is not what my pancakes look like...

My niece stayed with us last night, so when we woke up I had to (yes, had to, she's a feisty one, I'm afraid to tell her no) fix oatmeal pancakes (her very favorite breakfast). Inevitably, when I make pancakes, the first two turn out great, the middle two or three are burnt around the edges and the last two are perfect. I don't know why it happens that way and no matter what I do, I can't change it. so, burnt pancakes for me and perfect ones for the kiddos.

Then I had a much needed conversation with one of my very best friends, Sarah (I feel like I am lucky enough to say that I have several friends that are amazing and are all the best in their own ways). As weird as it sounds, she is one of the main reasons that I have Moose. She changed how I felt about having kids and we were lucky enough to have each other to lean on throughout our whole pregnancies (her son was born a month after Moose). The crazy thing is that even though we are separated by many states and about 18 hours, we still talk like there is no distance. The last few weeks have been ridiculously hectic and I haven't be able to talk to her as much so it was so nice to catch up and unload to each other.

Picnic time

After that, I had the bright idea of taking Moose and Oowa (my niece) to the park for a picnic. The best part of my idea was for us to walk. "It's not that far, it's basically the route I run, so it's not bad." Two miles later we arrived at the park and my 34lb toddler now felt like a 50lb sack of potatoes in the stroller (did I mention that the tires needed air?). We ate our crackers and our PBJ's and re-hydrated from our walk and off they went to play. I sat in the cool shade and just relished the quite time with my legs touched by the warmth of the sun. After about an hour and a half, they were ready to go (and by they, I mean Oowa, I told you, I can't tell her no).

We pack up the stroller and get ready to head out. Oowa (a 53lb, 11 year old) climbs into the stroller and has Moose (a 34lb toddler) climb up on her lap. Hmmm.... ok, so now I have a 87lb sack of potatoes in a stroller with flat tires, "who's idea was this?" Did I mention that this is a jogging stroller with a non-swivel wheel?

40 minutes later we made it home, exhausted, all of us. Moose napped, Oowa rested on the couch and I did some work on our couponing website.

We had pizza and wings for dinner (not the healthiest of choices, but I was tired, get off my back...)

Overall, it was a great day and the weather was perfect!

Low-Cal Enchiladas

So, in an effort to save money and calories, I have been cooking more. I really do love to cook, especially when I can make stuff up off the cuff. My hubby says I have a knack for it. I love the challenge of looking into my fridge/cabinet and coming up with something unique and tasty with stuff I have on hand.

Tonight, I decided on my version of enchiladas, which were of the venison persuasion. Now, if you aren’t a fan of bambi (as my hubby calls it), you can substitute extra lean ground beef, ground turkey or ground chicken.  I choose venison, one because it’s a lean meat and two because my brother-in-law blesses us with a ton of meat every hunting season. I have a very southern upbringing and come from a family of hunters, so I am not fazed by it. In fact, my mom raises a cow every year and takes it to market so she has a freezer full of fresh, hormone free and antibiotic free beef (all cuts-ribeye, ground beef, roast, stew meat, etc…)

Anyway, on to dinner…

4 Huge Servings (Less than 400 Calories Each)!

Venison Enchiladas

1 Can Low Sodium Black Beans (15 oz)
4 Cups Stewed Tomatoes
½ Cup Chopped Onions
1 Can Ro-Tel - Original Diced Tomatoes & Green Chilies (if you aren’t a fan of heat, skip these)
1 Cup Frozen Spinach
8 oz Ground Venison
4 Ole High Fiber Low Carb Tortillas
2 Oz Cabot - Cheddar Cheese 50% Reduced Fat
1 tbsp Argo - Cornstarch
2 tsp Chili powder

Salt & Pepper to taste

Pre heat the oven to 350. In a skillet brown the ground meat with the onions, salt and pepper. In a separate pot, heat the stewed tomatoes, Ro-Tel tomatoes, spinach and chili powder until boiling. Once the meat is browned, drain any grease and then add the black beans. Now that the tomato mixture is boiling, mix the cornstarch with a little water until it's blended. Slowly stir the cornstarch into the tomato mixture.  Take half of the tomato mixture and add it to the meat mixture. In a 9x13 pan spoon in a layer of the tomato mixture to cover the bottom. Divide the meat mixture in to four and fill each tortilla shell equally then place in the pan. Pour the remaining tomato mixture over the enchiladas and then top with the cheese. Bake until cheese is browned.

Super yummy! I added a little guacamole to mine. I served mine with a side of veggies, you could also top it with some shredded lettuce and a few chopped raw onions.

Enjoy! I shall now relax and enjoy my peppermint mocha flavored coffee.... Ahhhh....

To the moon and back,

It's Coffee Season!

That's right! It's that time of year when the weather is crisper (or at least a little less humid here in FL) and the days are shorter (it always seems more appropriate to drink coffee in the dark). By now, you should all know that coffee makes me happy, so this is my favorite time of year.

This is also the time of year when all of the "seasonal" creamers come out, which I love, but I do feel as though they are only teasing me because those flavors are only around for a short time. So it goes like this... I try a new creamer, I fall head over heels in love with it, and in two months its gone, never to return again (at least not til next season, if it went over well enough). Then January comes and there I will sit, broken hearted over my most recent love lost. What ever will I do? Will life go on? WHAT IS LEFT TO LIVE FOR (ok, besides my beautiful child and wonderful husband)??? Yes, I get this emotionally attached to ridiculous things such as creamer. (You think I'm bad? Ask my husband about the broken electric razor and that 1980's era digital clock radio that we just could not get rid of no matter what).

So annnnywhhheeerre (as Moose would say)... back to my dreamy, delectable, creamy, coffee enhancements. My favorite thus far this season? Oh, how do I limit it to just one? Can you choose a favorite child? Wouldn't that hurt the feelings of the other children? I mean, there are so many tasty one's out there right now. You all know my fondness for anything pumpkiny, so Coffeemate's Pumpkin Spice is up there. However, I came across a new one this year that I hadn't seen before, Brown Sugar Maple Latte. Whoa... A-MAZ-ING! The maple-ness comes through, but isn't over powering, it sweet, but not overly so. Ahhhh... it's just so good. I also have to say that I have always been a bigger fan of Coffee-mate's creamers (as opposed to International Delight's brand. Don't get me wrong, they have some flavors that are alright, but they all seem to have the same unpleasant aftertaste to me) and they didn't disappoint with this one. It's definitely on my list to remember for next year.

I am still looking forward to trying the Gingerbread Latte, the Sugar Cookie and the Pepermint Mocha ones. I am, however, not at all a fan of Eggnog, so that one will not be on my list, but, hey, that's just my humble opinion (as influential as I am) take it or leave it. My husband like the Eggnog one, but he's not right in the head, either.

To the moon and back,

Shoes & Coffee Make Everything Better

Here's why I think they make everything better...

Shoes: Shoes never let me down. They never make me feel fat. They don't judge me. Shoes can make or break an outfit. A good pair of heels can make you feel sexy and beautiful. It may sound incredibly un-feminist, but I want to feel like a girl and a great pair of heels does that for me. If I have had the worst day, I can try on a few pair of shoes and feel better. They are magical... I mean, really look at those shoes, sleek, beautiful... Now some of you may be saying "How in the heck do you walk in those!" to that I say "Slowly, and with practice!" I mentioned before, I wore heels up until about a week before I had my son, as much as I loved being pregnant, my heels let me hold on to a little bit of normality! Now, I'm not saying you have to wear heels to the grocery store (but I have and I rocked them!), but every once in a while it's fun and uplifting!

Coffee: A good latte heals all... Hot, creamy, soothing... amazingness. A fresh, hot Pumpkin Spice Latte or a rich CocoMochaNut Latte... Mmmmm My mouth is watering at the thought. My analogy is this: a hot cup of joe at the end of the day is to me as a glass of wine is to someone else. It relaxes me, and comforts me. So warm and cozy. Loaded up with splenda and fat free flavored creamer it makes it like a decadent dessert with out a bazillion calories!

A crappy day? Meeting up with a friend for coffee talk is a great remedy. Having a playdate? Coffee is a wonderful icebreaker (especially if you have lots of flavored creamers to make a coffee bar). 

In short, it's pretty easy to make me happy... buy me a coffee or find me great deal on a pair of beautiful heels! I'm willing to take donations for the "Make Jen Happy" Fund which will enable me to purchase smile inducing, awe-inspiring shoes. My psyche will thank you.

BTW... this post is riddled with sarcasm, I hope you find a bit of humor in it... :)

Bitter coffee, bitter thoughts

Let me be clear... I LOVE coffee, but I do not like my coffee black and bitter, I like it like I like my thoughts: light and sweet!

I'm pretty sure that in my next life I will be a barista making creamy, sweet, delicious coffee creations. Spreading love one caffeinated drink at a time. Hot ones, iced ones, blended ones... mmmmm, but alas, here I sit with my hot cup of joe sweetened with splenda and flavored with Coffee Mate's Creme Brulee creamer. That's as close as I'll get for now.

Now on to bitter thoughts...

Over the past few years we (mainly I) have gone through some changes, some good, some bad, all that have made me the person I am today. I try my hardest to focus on the positive, but sometimes it is hard and the bitter thoughts creep back in.

It's very hard for me to comprehend how quickly people change from loving you and thinking you are the best thing ever, to thinking you are the anti-Christ bent on world domination no matter who you step on to get there (no one in my life currently, mind you, things are pretty great right now).

For a very long time I had my priorities pretty messed up and gave too much of myself to people who were way to quick to try to take it all away. People I trusted, people I respected, people who then called into question my character. I was crushed because those who really know me, know I mean no harm. As much as I try to move on and try to forgive those people, a part of me wants to remain angry... needs to be angry, a part of me wants to hold on and I think that's what makes it worse, that they still have some control over me. Broken hearted is the best way to describe it.

As I said, everything I have gone through has made me the person I am today, good, bad or indifferent, here I am... But know this, I'm a bit more cautious who I really let in, I'm a bit more careful what I consider a priority and I will never give that much of myself to anything that is not my family (and by family I mean friends too, you are all my family).