Just Say No", I'm so confused!
And confused you should be.... However, what I'm telling you to do today, isn't so much me telling you how to do something as it is me asking how you do something. Even more confused, now? Sweet! Mission accomplished...
Not really, I'll just get to the point. Have you ever told someone something like, "Hey, I really feel like crap about myself today" only to have them respond with "You just need to love yourself" to which you reply "but how do I do that?" and they answer with "You just do it"? (Note: I'm fairly certain that there needs to be more punctuation in this paragraph, but the quotes throw me off and I've never been great with grammar.)
Or have you mentioned to a friend "I'm having a hard time seeing my blessings for all of the crap that seems to be going on" and they reply with something similar to "Just do it"?
Here's my question back to them, "HOW?"
How do you change the ay you are thinking? How do you make yourself love yourself? How do you train your brain to think positively when all that pops up is what's going wrong? How do gain self confidence when you tend to be on the mousey side but good at what you do so you should be confident? How do you gain the strength to stand firm in your "no" or in your pricing or in you stance, whatever it may be? How do you gain the confidence to stand up for yourself?
Well, I'll tell ya how....
I have no idea. I was hoping you all would have some answers other than "You just do it."
So much for me imparting any wisdom on you.
to the moon and back,
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
Monday, September 28, 2015
My oldest son (it still sounds funny to me that I have to specify oldest and youngest) has the longest eyelashes ever. Why do boys get blessed with long eyelashes? Probably because God knows they aren't going to destroy them with all the gobs of mascara.
Anyway, he still gives me butterfly kisses and they are the sweetest. So gentle, so kind, so caring, so loving.
His butterfly kisses pretty much sum up his personality. He is one of the most compassionate 6 year olds I've ever met. His heart truly breaks for those who are hurting and all he wants to do is help everyone.
One thing I was worried about when he started school was that he would become jaded and hardened to the world. There are mean kids out there and I was terrified they would hurt him or his feelings or worse yet, burrow their way into his head and change him.
Thankfully, that hasn't been the case, yet. Part of it could be that we start every morning asking him if he's going to be a leader or a follower and he always responds "leader". When we ask him if he knows what that means, he says "It means that I will do the right thing even if everyone else is doing the wrong thing."
I'm going to take a moment to brag because positivity is always needed and, quite frankly, it's my blog I can brag if I want to. Here are some things that he has done lately that make me burst with pride for him.
- Moose was telling me about a classmate named Isaac.
Me: Did you tell him your brother's (Junior) middle name is Isaac?Moose: Well, actually, at first I told him I didn't want to be his friend because he's bad. (I explained why that wasn't nice) Then I told him about Junior and that made him happy! Then I told him that before he does anything, he should turn around and look at me and do whatever I'm doing and he won't get in trouble.
- There is a little boy in his class that has been having a problem with wetting his pants. I said "you don't make fun of him do you?" He replied, "No, I usually walk him back to the class to get clean clothes." He told me "Mommy, I told him like you tell me. 'You have to listen to your body. If your body is telling you that you have to go potty, then you need to go so you don't have an accident.' And you know what mommy? He didn't have an accident for a few days!"
- He came home one day and was telling me about a little boy in the other kindergarten class who has a disease (Moose is 6 he didn't know how else to explain it). I asked if he mean the little boy who has down syndrome and he said yes. He had lots of questions, would he ever get better, could Junior get it, if mommy had it would she get better, etc. I explained to him that the little boy would never get rid of the "disease", but that he might get better in that he might pick up some verbal skills, he might learn to be better at playing and such.
The next day, Moose had a laundry list of questions, so I did what any good mom would do and I googled it. I found the answers to pretty much all of his questions. Moose said, "I can't wait until Monday so I can ask him to play with me, but I'm so afraid he won't want to play with me." I explained to him that he just has to keep asking every day because this little boy isn't used to being around other kids so it may take him a while to warm up.
Monday morning came and on the way to school I asked what he was looking forward to and he said "Asking that little boy to play with me!"
When I picked him up from school I asked what his favorite part of the day was. He said "Well, my least favorite part was not being able to play with that little boy because we had music today and I didn't get to see him."
to the moon and back
Recap of the year before I officially start writing this blog:
- Son turned 5
- Got pregnant
- Went on vacay
- Had someone total my car
- Bought a new car
- Had a super rough pregnancy
- 3 sinus infections
- 1 upper respiratory infections
- 3 yeast infections (TMI)
- 1 bacterial infection
- Severe heartburn
- Chronic sciatic pain
- Low amniotic fluid
- Had to replace our washer
- Had a super cute baby boy
- Fought jaundice for 2 1/2 weeks
- Now dealing with his possible hernia
- Had to replace our couch that was worn out from sleeping on it through 5 months of pregnancy
- Had to replace our washer again
- Son started kindergarten
- Son turned 6
Tada... That's it in a nutshell (I think I covered everything)
Now on to the post at hand... Just say no!
To what you ask?
- Alcohol! (Ok, maybe not wine)
- Caffeine! (What!?! Wait did I type that??)
- Throat punching that annoying coworker!
Those are all pretty easy to say "no" to, right? What about those difficult questions?
- Can you pick up an extra shift or two?
- Can you lead this group at church?
- Can you ask for donations for that school thing?
- Can you collect goods and deliver them?
- Can you wash my car?
- Can you babysit my kids?
- Can you do an emergency tracheotomy?
Those are a little harder to say "no" to, right? Well, maybe not the last one, unless of course, you're a surgeon. And, honestly, why wouldn't you be? This is a very educated blog that attracts very educated readers...
I don't know, maybe it's just me that has a hard time saying no. Why is it so hard???? I've heard it said "Every 'Yes' is a 'No' to something else", but I don't even think I get the opportunity for an inadvertent "no". Somehow, the more I try to pair down my schedule, the busier it gets.
Don't get me wrong, busy is great when it comes to my business (thank God for help!), but it's all the other stuff that consumes every minute of every day! There's the normal routine stuff school drop off and pick up, baby drop off an pick up, work, homework, dinner, laundry, lunches, etc... But then there's the school events (storybook parade, fall festival, fundraising, etc). And then there's church groups women's ministry, small groups, family events, etc...
But Jen, doesn't God want me to do... uh... stuff and things? (Yes I did just make a Walking Dead reference) Well, yes, He certainly does, but He wants you to do them with a good heart and if you are all angsty and bitter about said deeds, then He wouldn't approve. If your "yes'" are taking away from the important things (glorifying Him, your family, friends, career... probably in that order, too), what good are they.
Being busy and making people happy just for the sake of being busy and making people happy, is no way to live. Really, I'm not one to talk, I'm totally writing this for my own sake and if you all get something out of it, too, then fabulous. How about we find something to say "no to this week?
Also, if I ramble, I'm sorry I'm not sorry.... And if I've loosely written on this topic before (maybe here?), get over it, that was years ago and I'm too old to remember.
to the moon and back,