Skewed Reality

TV has given me a skewed sense of reality. Shocking, right? I know, TV is usually beaming with reality, what with Toddlers and Tiaras, Honey Boo Boo (a piece of me just died as I typed that), Jersey Shore, Teen Mom, etc... 

Here's a list of my (as my granny says) "stories" and how they have skewed my reality:

• The Walking Dead - I'm now worried that any minute a zombie apocalypse is going to break out and I am going to have to strategically find all of my friends and family and we are going to have to make our way to the local prison for safety and judging the way my garden is growing, I will not be the farmer of the group, so I need to brush up on my marksmanship or head stabbing...
• Revolution - Every time the power flickers, I think "Ok, this is it... It's go time." Then the power comes back on and I think, "Ah, just as well, I'm not sure I'm ready for survival mode. Have you seen my garden?"
• Weeds (terrible show, I know, guilty pleasure) - I now believe that every small "mom & pop" shop is a front for something illegal. "Oh, you've only had two customers all week and you can afford to keep the business open??" Likely story... Plus, apparently pretty much everyone smokes pot, regularly.
• Dexter - It's apparent to me that being a serial killer is much easier than I would have initially expected. I mean as long as you dump the body in the gulf stream and don't keep a token, you are golden.
• Nashville - It's now clear to me that all musicians are tortured souls who come from crazy backgrounds or have addiction problems. Wait... that one just may be reality...
• Lost - Flying has always creeped me out, but now I'm worried about my plane disappearing. I mean seriously, that doesn't happen, right??? Oh... wait... it does.

Ok, so maybe those last two aren't too skewed, but do you see how easily I get sucked in? I'm way too gullible. The next thing you know I'm going to be the mysterious lead singer of a rock group who, by day, is the owner and manager of Starlight Music and who's adopted this persona with the help of my holographic computer. Far fetched, huh?

to the moon and back,

Glorious, fully caffeinated coffee deliciousness...

I fear it has been far too long since I have blogged about one of the very things I base my blog around... Caffeine! I have to admit, caffeine and I parted ways for a little while there. It was very sad and the coffee growers association called me and asked what they could do to get me back. Yes, there is such a thing as a coffee growers association, but no they did not actually call me that would be absurd, they emailed me... (See what I did there? You thought I was going to be honest but I furthered the fib with even more exaggeration.)

Anyway, it was a very ugly break up. There were tears (mainly from my hubby dealing with a newly decaf me), headaches, depression, and then moving on to a way less attractive source of energy vitamins and veggies and fruit, ack... Vitamins make me puke (literally, most of them do for some reason, sorry TMI) and I have to choke down fruit (I'm weird, deal with it), now I love my veggies, but they don't compare to my caffeine vehicle of choice, coffee (mocha's, latte's & straight up coffee). Oh, the creamy goodness...

But, for a very noble reason, I gave up caffeine prior to getting pregnant (I avoid caffeine while pregnant, if you don't, that's fine, I don't judge). Since finding out that there was no baby, I have been indulging in things that comfort me (probably more than I should) and caffeine comforts me. I know it's probably not the best for me, but I'm ok with that.

I will soon take another hiatus from caffeine when we start trying again, but for now, I am enjoying every minute of every rocket-powered sip of my full caf, skinny salted caramel mocha from Starbucks...

On a side note, my mom and I were having a conversation earlier about my blog and she asked "How do you come up with things to write about?" In the very best sarcastic tone I could come up with, I replied "I am very entertaining, mama, I have tons of stuff I can ramble on about." As you can see by this post, the "very entertaining" part may have been another exaggeration. I am pretty good at exaggerating, maybe I should add that to my resume...

On another side note, during the same conversation, my dad asked "Who reads this thing?" Apparently, he does not see the social impact my blog has on the world. I replied, "I don't know, friends, people randomly searching the web, pretty much every one. My fan base is huge." See what I mean about exaggerating? I'm actually pretty stoked when I check the analytics and and it shows more than 10 visitors!

I leave you with this uber impressive collage of coffee art...

to the moon and back,