Do Gooder

In a world where being cynical, critical, and even hateful is glorified, we must be do-gooders.

But more importantly,

We must raise do-gooders... Strong, compassionate, loving do-gooders.

We must raise our children to stand up for the little guys.

We must raise them to not be bullies but also not be pushovers.

We must teach them to listen... by listening to them.

We must teach them to speak up... by letting them be honest with us, even when it's not easy to hear.

We must teach them to spread sincere compliments like sprinkles... by truly complimenting them.

We must teach them to be helpers... by helping them when they need it, by taking them to places where they can help, charity events, churches, homeless shelters, etc

We must teach them to be encouragers... by not only encouraging them, but also others you encounter.

We must teach them to not measure their worth by what others think... by not comparing them or ourselves to classmates/co-workers/people/celebrities/etc around us.

We must teach them to take initiative... by showing them that they have the power to do things, they are smart enough, strong enough, bold enough...

We must raise them to be confident in who they are... by demonstrating confidence.

We have to teach them to get involved, to make a difference... by helping them choose something they are passionate about and getting them out there working towards it.

It's cool to find fault in every little thing, to not ever admit you like something. Is it because we are afraid to be embarrassed? Are we afraid to be vulnerable? Are we afraid of what others may think? Let's love more - openly, let's speak more kind words - to everyone, let's like what we like and not worry what anyone else thinks - ever. Our littles learn not only by doing, but also by what they see. What do they see in you?

None of are perfect, certainly not me, but we have to start somewhere. We have to start making changes where we can because, until we do, nothing will change.

Be a do-gooder... Raise a do-gooder... Make a generation of do-gooders.

to the moon and back,

Not funny "haha" but funny strange

It's funny how life goes on and days go by and you don't cross my mind. I mean, you're there, always ready to leap to life in a story, but not in the forefront. It's easy to push it back because I didn't see you every day.

Then some days, you're a whisper. You're a song on the radio, a scent in the breeze, a daydream at a familiar place.

Then... then, there are days like today, when you should be there. When all of the family is there. You should be laughing, singing and making us dance. You should be telling your stories and looking impatient not letting anyone know you're having fun. You should be cooking and smiling and hugging your son. And it hits me like a ton of bricks, you're gone.

I can see you in photos, and recall fading memories of moments that have passed but nothing is sufficient. I want another day. A day at the springs, in the mountains, at your dinning room table waiting for dinner. A day to mend fences, a day to aggravate you, a day to laugh at your bad jokes.

Life isn't fair, and death certainly isn't either.

to the moon and back,

Daddy

In between my morning job and cleaning job this afternoon, I got a call from my mom. "Jen, I'm in the ER with your dad, can you come get Moose from me, he's getting kid of restless." Umm... excuse me? ER?

Now, a little background on my mom. She's a rock in situations like this, real even keeled. Me, not so much (I don't do well in emergencies). Anyway, mom gets through these situations and is super strong, then when they are over, she takes her moment to break down.

Me "Why is dad in the ER?"
Mom "He was lightheaded at work and having problems remembering things and he kept zoning out. It might be mini strokes."
Me "Ok, I'll be there right away. Is he ok?"
Mom "He seems to be, they are running tests."

So, I rearranged my day and headed to the hospital. My dad is going to give me a heart attack, this isn't his first emergency.

I called Jon on my way there, I was a mess on the phone. I couldn't stop crying. I was praying, crying, texting, praying, crying, facebooking. Not my safest trip somewhere, but I needed prayers for my dad.

I got to the hospital, made my way to his room, rushed in and gave him the biggest hug and just lost it.

They had already done an EKG and blood work. They still planned on doing at least a cat scan. He was also hooked up to an IV with fluids because of mild dehydration. They weren't sure what had happened, but they mentioned mini strokes. My dad was hoping it was just anxiety from dealing with the end of the year inventory at the school. Mom said that he was very disoriented when she got to the hospital, but by the time I got there he was much more lucid.

After the cat scan they decided to do an MRI. The doctor also ordered a sonogram to look at his carotid arteries and an echocardiogram.

And so we waited... and waited... and waited. The nurse came in at 3:30 and asked if the doctor had talked to us. We said no. She replied "Oh, well he was supposed to, but I think he's gone for the day now." What? Really? I mean I guess it wasn't life threatening, because I assume he would have come in, but really, who knows.

My dads friends, Tom & Sandra, came by to pray with him and I can't tell you how much that meant.

The nurse informed us that they were going to keep my dad over night for observations and to get those other 2 tests done. My dad wasn't thrilled, but we didn't give him a choice. She also told us that they were having a neurologist do a consult.

They moved my dad up to a room and the neurologist came in and did a few memory tests and a few physical tests (for strokes). He passed both tests. (I even had a hard time with the memory one!) The Dr said that it could have been a mini stroke which would have effected his memory and made him light headed and spacey; however, he's know more after reading the MRI.

So now we wait... and wait... and wait for answers. I pray with all my heart that it's something minor that can easily be fixed.

I know that I'll never be ready to lose him, but I'm really not ready, yet. He's still so young and has many, many, many more years left.

So, for now, I leave you with this poem I wrote for him for his birthday years ago:

Dad you’ll never realize

The times I cherished being with you

It was late night plays, weekend matinees

And Chinese lunches, too

It was baseball games

Those many nights

Arena football

And hockey fights

It was actions, cuts and strike the sets

It was props and wardrobes , too

It was Dracula and the Pajama Game

And just spending time with you

It’s the way you’ve always loved me

Whether I deserved it or not

You make me feel so grateful

That I thank God for what I’ve got

I hope you have a great day

Celebrating your birth

I hope that at least one person

Tells you how much your worth

to the moon and back,

Through the eyes of a 3 year old

"It was a great Easter day." That's what Moose said before he went to bed tonight.

Actually, what he said was, "Tell daddy that I had a very good Easter day playing with my cousins and my friends and my family. Tell him I love them all very much and that I love him very much. It was a great day!"

And it was a great day a darn near perfect day in the eyes of a 3 year old. He woke up, and came in and laid down with mommy. We got up and he played while I got ready for work. Then Grandma showed up and that meant play time!

They played board games, rode bikes, played on the swing set, had lunch then it was nap time.

While he napped, grandma and I got ready for the guests. There were cupcakes to bake, cool and ice. There were veggies to chop. There were little plastic eggs to fill.

Moose woke up and soon after the guests started arriving. The adults ate, while the kids played. They ran, climbed, went swinging, played tag and slid down the slide. They asked for cupcakes before dinner and some prevailed, it is a celebration after all so dessert comes first, right?

It was time for the men folk to wrangle the little ones to the front yard so the eggs could be hidden, or just thrown about the back yard. There really isn't much to the hiding when there are 1,000 eggs to hide (that may be an exaggeration, but you get the idea).

Then it was time to unleash the hounds! They were off, scooping up eggs as they ran. Eggs were everywhere and their baskets were overflowing. As they ran around they left a trail of spilled eggs, which only brought joy as they realized there were more eggs to find!

With all of the eggs gathered up, it was time for them to examine the spoils of their hard work. Moose opened an egg and out popped a small plastic slinky... "Oh, just what I always wanted! A slinky!" he exclaimed with sincerity. "Easter is so much fun with my friends mom!"

A (I'll switch his friends names with letters) opened an egg and found a bubble ring. His mom opened it up and showed him that it was bubbles and his whole face lit up!

E slowly and carefully hand picked his eggs. He opened his eggs, but wasn't overly impressed. He was more interested in checking out what everyone else was doing. He wanted to keep playing.

L got a small yellow squishy ball from one of his eggs and held it up and said "My yellow!". He was so proud of his airplane erasers and the rest of his haul.

J immediately broke open the fruit snacks and the candy that was allergy safe for him. He tore through every egg, carefully examining each one for treats that he could devour!

Once eggs were done and the yard looked like there had been a plastic egg massacre, it was time to play again. Soon, though, everyone packed up and the night had to come to an end.

A very tired little boy got ready for bed. When we got to his room, I picked him up (my almost 4 foot, 3 year old) and rocked him like I do every night and we sang "You are my Sunshine". I laid him down and we prayed and thanked God for Jesus and the sacrifice He made for us.

So, you see, that was pretty much a perfect day for a 3 year old and quite frankly, it was darn near perfect for this mama, too. My heart is full tonight.

to the moon and back,

Parenting Woes...

I'm a bad parent. "No, Jen, not you..." Yes me... Why you ask, oh because I choose to limit my child's sugar intake, because I choose to discipline him when he misbehaves, because I want him to eat more fruits and veggies than processed foods/fast foods, because I give him Motrin when he has a fever, because I had him circumcised, because I had him vaccinated, and so on and so on.... {insert sarcasm font}

Motherhood is the most amazing thing I have ever experienced, however, one thing that I have noticed is how catty and passive aggressive other moms can get. I belong to an online parenting board that is comprised of other women who became moms the same time I did. When I joined it, I thought "Great! I can share stories and get tips and such!" Umm, not so much. At first they were all like "Oh, yay, we're pregnant!" then it soon became "What? You're not going to co-sleep? Your child is going to feel unloved and insecure." "What? You aren't going to chew up your baby's food first and feed it like a little bird? Your child is going to choke!" Seriously?? I don't care how you raise your child (as long as you aren't beating him/her), why would you judge me and my choices? "Oh my gosh, you're going back to work? Your son's going to have abandonment issues." Um, no he's going to have food on the table, clothes on his back and a roof over his head.

Why is it that everyone else knows the best way to raise your kid? The one thing that I have learned since having a child is that every decision (no matter how big or small) that I make for Moose is wrong in someones mind. There are such varying opinions on every subject and everyone feels so strongly about their own, why can't we just let parents choose for themselves?

My hubby and chose the, get this, "cry it out method". "Oh, no she didn't *snap*! Don't she know that's abuse?" (yes, I realize the grammar choices I made in that quote, and just so you know, I wrote it in the best ghetto accent I have as well). Ummm, no it wasn't abuse, at least not in our case. Moose only had to do it once or twice and he has never had a problem since. Anyone who knows Moose, knows that he is a very well adjusted 3 & 1/2 year old. We also gave him a pacie and he wasn't exclusively breastfed. Oh no, call DCFS before something terrible happens!

My point it, opinions are great, but not when the only reason they are voiced is to make someone else feel like less of a person. I may not agree with all of your parenting choices, but guess what? It doesn't matter, because YOU are the parent and you have the right to those choices.

So, in conclusion, circumcise or don't, co-sleep or don't, wear your baby or don't, breastfeed or don't, vaccinate or don't, spank or don't, feed your baby like a bird or don't, I won't judge you so please don't judge me.

At least you aren't this guy... I mean really, look at that mullet, that little boy has no chance... ;)

Disclaimer: I don't know who these people are, I found the pic on google.

to the moon and back,

I may not have it all...

...but I do believe that I am truly blessed.

I'm not rich by the worlds standards, but as cliche as it sounds, I am rich in every other aspect. Whether you believe me or not, I have the best friends and family a girl could ask for. I bragged on my hubby a little in my last blog, this time, I'll brag on the rest of my world...

Sis, Mama, Me

I have a mom that has the most caring, concerned heart. She is always looking out for my sister and I as well as our families, no matter how old we get. She knows our needs before we even have a chance to tell her. She is so giving of herself and her time. If God had given me the opportunity to hand pick a mom, I couldn't have chosen better. She loves her family, all of them, with everything she is and she has always treated her son-in-laws as if they were her own. Plus, she watches Moose (my son, in case you were wondering) practically everyday while I work.

Me, Dad

My dad is the silent type. He stays in the background so that everyone else can shine. He loves my mom, sister and I beyond belief and to see him with our kids, his grandchildren, is nothing short of beautiful. He doesn't show emotion too much, but if there is a chance that there is something wrong with one of us, you can just see the worry in him, genuine worry. He's always found a way to get us what we needed or wanted. He's loved me, even when there were times when I didn't deserve to be loved. He's the reason I love movies and all things food and he is a lover of all things chocolate.

My sista!!

My sister is 8 years older than me. She's my big sis, but more importantly, I'm her little sister, which means she has dealt with me at my most annoying times and she still loves me. I was the one who mom made her take with her on her dates or when she went out because little sisters like to tattle. What mom didn't know at the time was that little sisters also like to blackmail... I have always looked up to my sister. She is an amazing mother and friend. She has been there for me in some of my darkest moments and some of my greatest. She has always supported and stood by me and defended me. She also saw fit to torment me often as a child as every good big sis should.

Aren't we fancy? We were on a cruise. In the middle is Jan, Ron, Sherry & Matt

I married into a great God-fearing family. Jon's folks are very active in the church and in our lives. I wasn't really a "church" person until I started dating Jon.. His family was very involved with my Christian walk. They are wonderful with Moose and pitch in where they can. He loves spending time with them. Jon's brother and sister-law lead our church and are a huge resource for us. We turn to them when we need biblical advice. I am grateful that we can rely on them!

I do not have a pick that shows all of my wonderful friends, and if I did, it wouldn't fit here. :)

God has placed the most amazing people in my life. There has never been in a time in my life where I have been surrounded by so many supportive friends. I have always had one or two really great friends that I could count on, but right now, my world is over flowing with friends on all levels. Ones that I have known forever, ones I have known for years and ones who have just entered my life. I have friends, who when they heard I was out of work for a little while, showed up at my door with a Publix gift card and who have literally written checks from their own bank accounts to help us (and no I didn't ask them to!). I have friends, who when I came home from the hospital after having Moose, made sure I had hot, fresh cooked dinners for two weeks. I have friends, who when they heard that I had miscarried, shared their pain and heartache with me so that I didn't feel so alone.

So, while I may not have a TV in every room (*gasp* is that even legal?), huge house, fancy car, fine china, special silverware, infinity pool, hot tub, summer home, a basement full of wine (or a basement for that matter) I have more than I ever dreamed of having. Granted I would LOVE to not live paycheck to paycheck at times, I wouldn't trade what we have now for any amount of money (don't believe me? I'm willing to be tested... $10 million maybe tempting...ahhh.... Just kidding!)

Thanks for reading, I promise the next one will not be quite so long and will involve much more wit and sarcasm. I just wanted to make sure that those around me have an idea of how I feel about them.

to the moon and back,

Pardon me while I brag...

I have an amazing husband and no, I promise he didn't hack my blog.

As you know from my recent post, this has been a really rough time for my family. Jon has been my rock. He has been so amazing while I have been recovering.

Last Thursday after my procedure, he waited on me hand and foot all day. He made sure that I had plenty to drink and eat. He took care of our son and kept him busy so mommy could rest. When I would get up, he would ask what I was doing and tell me to sit back down.

When I told him that I thought we needed to go away for the weekend to focus on family time, he said "Absolutely, I don't care what it costs." I'm too responsible to go crazy, so I looked into some inexpensive hotels.

On Friday, I booked a room for that night in St. Augustine. A few hours later, I found out that I wouldn't be working this coming week (after not working at all last week), so that would be two weeks without a paycheck. I immediately start freaking out. It's less than 24 hours so we can't can't cancel. Jon grabs me, hugs me and says, "Don't worry, we are going. We need this, everything will be fine, we will figure it out next week."

After a VERY rocky start to our trip (car trouble, 2 visits from bright house, etc..) we finally made it to our hotel at about midnight.

The hotel was ok, yes, just ok. It had paper thin walls (and apparently bikers stay as far north as St. Augustine during bike week), and a door that just barely latched (thank heavens for the safety latch and a husband who carries).

Saturday was amazing. We laid around the hotel until about 10:30am then decided to get up and get brunch. We ate a super cute little place called Cafe 11. They had a buffet and Moose ate and ate. He had more than me, two servings of grits, a quesadilla triangle, scrambled eggs, toast, honeydew, cantaloupe and pineapple. (He ate like a horse all day)

Jon wouldn't let me walk around. He was so worried about me not healing and injuring myself more. So we decided the best way to get around was to do one of the train tours. That way we could get around, but not have to walk. Moose was thrilled!

Jon was so great at making sure I rested enough and had everything I needed. I'm not used to being the one who needs to be taken care of, but it sure was nice having someone look out for me. I don't know what I did to make him love me so much, but I'm glad because I know I don't always deserve it.

I am so thankful for my hubby. He's such an amazing man and father. Thank you, baby!

to the moon and back,

My miscarriage...

If you follow my blog because of my wit and satire... this post is not for you, as if you couldn't tell by the title. I just wanted to give fair warning that this will be sad, at least if you have a heart it will.

Before I get too far into it, I would at least like to give a few reasons for broadcasting this to the the 5's of people who read this blog. Well, first off, I have said before that I use this blog as a form of therapy for myself. Secondly, I found out the hard way that that keeping stuff locked up is no way to get over it. Finally, this is a subject that not a lot of people want to talk about, so if I can help someone else who can't talk about it feel a little less alone, then it's worth it.

It is a long one...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

On January 25th, before I was even late, I took a pregnancy test. We had been trying so I knew I was within a day or so. Drumroll... A plus sign... What? Pregnant? I have to say I was shocked. We really had only been trying for a month. Man, that was quick, I thought I'd have a few months at least. A flood of emotions overwhelmed me and I walked out to show Jon, he got the biggest smile on his face and I broke down and started crying... Not because I was sad, just emotionally overwhelmed.

The next week we went on a trip to TN to visit friends. We had a great time (other than I was recovering from the flu). However, I did have this nagging uneasy feeling. I told Jon and my friend, Sarah, about it. I really couldn't put a finger on it though. It sorta felt like that feeling when your boss says "We need to talk" or when you get called to the principal's office. I was just feeling off, but I sort of contributed that to the changing hormones.

Over the next few weeks, I still had the feeling but it kept lessening. However, now I was just nervous in general, even more so than with my first pregnancy. Again, I just blamed it on hormones well that and the fact that in my close circle of friends, 4 of them had issues following their 1st pregnancy or issues with their 2nd. Including blood clots, Gastroschisis, miscarriage, and Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia.

I had my first appointment with the midwife and everything seemed to be going well. I felt good, other than the normal pregnancy symptoms; being nauseous, dry mouth, sore boobs, minor headaches and mood swings. She checked me and everything seemed to be right where it needed to be. She scheduled me for my bloodwork and my first sonogram.

I kept up with my eating healthy (as much as the cravings and nausea would allow), I did pre-natal yoga, I took my pre-natal vitamins, I walked, I didn't have caffeine, I didn't drink, I stayed away from artificial sweetners... all of the stuff you are supposed to do.

The day of my sonogram came (which happened to be the day before I had to fly to NY for a company trip). Jon met me at the doctor's office and we waited to be called back. We made small talk with the woman doing our sonogram (she was the same one who did them for us when we had Moose). I laid on the table, adjusted my pants and she applied whatever that gooey stuff is to my stomach. She placed the wand on my stomach and as soon as she did, I knew that there was something wrong.

With Moose, we had a sonogram at 5wks 6dys and we saw him. Even though he was tiny, we saw him. I was 9wks 3dys, We should be seeing something. I kept thinking, "Maybe this is just a really wide view, maybe she has to zoom in." Suddenly, I kept thinking, "that has to be it, right? Didn't they have to do that in the beginning with Moose?"

She said, "I'm going to measure the sac now," *mouse click* *mouse click*. "but I'm sorry to tell you that there is no baby there and I honestly can't say that there ever has been. I'm so sorry. I'm just so sorry" And just like that, I wasn't pregnant anymore... Only I was, or at least my body still thought so.

Instant tears, Jon reached for my hand, stood up and held me. Endless tears...

9 & 1/2 weeks... We had known since weeks, we had already started planning, I bought diapers to start stocking up, we had talked about names... How is it that there is no baby? What had I done wrong?? Then instantly I thought, "Oh God, we have to tell everyone that there is no baby... Why didn't we wait to tell until after 12 weeks?" 

Even worse... how was I going to tell Moose that he was no longer going to have a baby brother or sister?

She said that she had to call the doctor to come talk to me about my options. They walked me into another room and the doctor came in. He said that it's called "blighted ovum" (never heard of it? me either read about it here and here) Bottom line is that there was no baby, no fetus and no fetal pole. Apparently, it's very common, I don't know about you, but that's not very comforting. Option one: I could let my body take care of it on it's own or option two: I could have a D&C. A miscarriage is less controlled, could result in hemmorhaging, infection and you never know when it's going to happen. A D&C is more controlled, quick, sterile and fewer chances of complications.

Hmmm... decisions, decisions... And the doctor is standing there looking at me. I'm crying and Jon's fighting back tears. The doctor says that we don't have to make a decision now, unless we want to, but to me the D&C seemed like the right choice (if you feel differently, that's fine, please do judge or question my decision, it was not one that was easily made). Within a matter of minutes the procedure was scheduled for the next Thursday (March14th) and I had to do blood work for a type & screen on Wednesday because I am RH negative.

In one short hour, I had gone from expectant mother, to a woman who was scheduled to remove the "products of conception".

When I picked up Moose from my moms, I told him about it, I had to, he kept asking why mommy was crying and was so sad. So I told him that the baby in mommy's belly went away. He looked up at me with tears in his eyes and said "But mommy, I want my baby brother or baby sister." Just the week before he was talking about all of the things he could teach him/her like how to play, and not potty in their diaper and how to sleep and not cry, and how he could make them laugh by making faces at them because that always makes babies laugh. He started crying and said "Mommy, I am so sorry that the baby in your belly went away."

Don't forget, I still had to go home and pack for my trip. The next 4 days I would be away from my family and would have no time to really process because I would be working a tradeshow for 9 hours and day and I was rooming with a co-worker so I wouldn't have time to myself.

In the times I did get to think about it, my mind immediately started blaming it on something I had done:
   Did I not want it enough?
   Should I not have taken the Tami-flu?
   Did I work out too much?
   Did I not start taking my pre-natals early enough?
   Is the D&C the right choice?
   Could I have done something differently?
   Is it ridiculous that I am mourning a baby that was never there?
   Why do I feel embarrassed telling people that there never was a baby?

Sometimes I hate how a mind works... Sometimes no one is to blame. Sometimes things just happen. God knows that there was a reason for this, and whether I understand it or not, I except it and honestly, I'm with Jon in thinking that I am glad it happened sooner rather than later.

Wednesday came and I had my blood work. I hate needles and Moose knows that, he said "I'll hold your hand so you don't get nervous mommy. I don't want my mommy to be nervous." And when I started crying because there was a possible problem with insurance, while squeezing my neck, he said "Oh, it's ok mommy, I am here for you, I'll always be here for you. Don't cry, it's ok".

Thursday, day of surgery... Up at 5:20am to be there by 6:00am, surgery at 7:30am, no longer pregnant by 7:45am. They brought me back for pre-op and got me ready. Then Jon came back to sit with me. Lots of tears and pulling it together and tears and pulling it together. 

Then, the inconsiderate nurses (not mine, mine were really great) in the hall right next to my bay start talking about how on Tuesday a woman with no known allergies went into anaphylactic shock after getting the versed shot. She coded and then needed CPR and almost didn't make it. Really?? I've never had surgery in my life and this is the convo you have outside my room and the rooms of others having procedures today? Jon stepped out and politely asked them to be a little more sympathetic to the patients about to get the same shot.

After that, they gave me the versed, and hauled me off to the OR. I really don't remember anything after that except sliding myself to the other bed. The next thing I remember was waking up, trying to figure out if I was done or what was going on. They brought Jon back and the relief in his eyes was beautiful.

And that was it... we were done and discharged.

I know that I'm not the only woman who has had this problem nor am I the only one who has miscarried but that brings little consolation. Everyone mourns differently, everyone needs their own outlet, everyone needs support, but more importantly everyone needs to move on. I'm not saying that they need to forget, I'm saying that they need to find a way to look back with love and not with anger or hatred or emptiness.

It wasn't my fault... It wasn't your fault... God knew better that us that the timing wasn't right, no matter how hard that is to see right now.

I'm so thankful that I have an amazingly supportive husband, son, family and friends. Though this process is and will continue to be difficult, they have made it so much easier on me.

I love you all...

...to the moon and back,

www.hypersmash.com

Whirlwind...

I woke up and it was Halloween. I went to bed and woke up and it was New Years. Yes, that's what it seems like. I can't for the life of me figure out where the latter part of 2012 went. I remember that we had a great Halloween, Thanksgiving, 13 year wedding anniversary, Christmas, birthday and new years, but they almost seem like they happened the same day.

So, here we are in 2013 and all I have heard about lately is resolutions. What are mine, you ask? Well, I don't have any specifically, but generally speaking I guess I have a few.

Everyone loves a bulleted list, right? So here we go...

• Continue on my healthier living trek (mind, body & spirit). Technically, this started before 2013, but I want to make sure I continue with it.
• With that in mind here are a few things I am doing to keep up with that
• I'm doing a 21 day Yoga Challenge (21 days straight of yoga, no skipping or I'm out) and today was day 12.
• Eating cleaner, I'm back to eating more veggies and less processed foods. I've managed to stay away from fast food (other than subway) for a few months now.
• I'm also eliminating things that take up time, but don't serve the greater good, like God, my family or my friends.
• Spend more time with my son and husband
• Spend more time with God
• To care less about making everyone else happy and care more about making myself happy, my husband happy and my son happy
• Drink a little more coffee and a little more choffy
• Wear more heels and dress up more

I don't think those are too hard. A few of these might be a tad challenging for me. Why? Because I don't know how to say "no". I'm a "yes" girl and I know that's not always a good thing. I tend to spend time stressing over what everyone thinks of me and if they like me and if they are happy instead of doing what makes me happy or what makes me feel good. Constant worrying does not do a body good.

So, if you ask me to do something, and I say "no", please don't take it personally. It just means that maybe, spending time watching TV with my husband and son is a little more important.

To the moon and back...

Potty training, schmotty training

Now, I'm the girl who cries at every pivotal (and if we are being totally honest, not so pivotal) moment in Moose's life. He's growing up way to fast for me and every milestone means we are one day closer to adolescence, where I will know nothing and he will know everything and not need me anymore. This current milestone, though, is one that I am ready to be done with... Potty Training.

Boo... That's all I have to say. Boo to potty training.

Moose will be 3 in September and we have been potty training for a few months now. Initially we did the naked method. I have to say, it worked really well to get him recognizing the act of potty-ing.

Most days he does great (nights are a different story, even with cutting off drinks at 7 and putting a diaper on him, there are mornings where it's like he got up and went swimming in his p-jammers and then climbed back into bed). I'll hear, "Mommy, I think I have to go potty."

But, then there are those days (which seem to be the days where I am already at my wits end) that he just doesn't think he needs to use the big boy potty. "Mommy, do I have a diaper on?" "No dear, you never have a diaper on during the day anymore. Did you potty?" "Yeah..." (insert frowny face here). "I poopied mommy." (insert major frowny face here).

Then there's me asking "Moose, do you have to potty?" "Mmm, nope!" again, "Moose, let's try to go potty" "But I don't have to go." Then two minutes later, "Mommy, my feet are cold." Really? Could that be because you are standing in a puddle of pee?

Naps are the same. Some days he will take his normal 3 to 4 hour nap (he's an anomaly, I know) and wake up bone dry, but other days, he's soaked after an hour.

Then, two weeks will go by with no accidents (cue the "Hallelujah" music) and just when I think, "By Jove, I think he's got it!" we have another day filled with accidents.

Don't get me wrong, he's only 2 (I tend to forget that because he is a very big kid as well as very mature and well behaved for his age, no one believes us when we say he's not even 3) and I know that accidents happen, but there are days that I would so much rather clean up a dirty diaper than a dirty pair of underwear. Especially when we are out and about.

The part that gets me is the in-between. He's not fully potty trained, but definitely not in a diaper anymore.

This too shall pass...

to the moon and back...

Don't forget to check out Florida Coupon Savers.

I'm in awe...

 

I have to say, I am completely in awe. I wrote last week about a loss my very dear friend had suffered (read it here). When Sarah found out about the babies diagnosis, her plans for the birth changed drastically, from a home birth to a hospital birth, 4 hours from home. Long story short, she didn't have health insurance and now was going to be strapped with tons of medical bills as well as travel expenses.

That was when another dear friend and I decided we needed to do something. Our idea when from a holding a long distance "baby shower" to raise a little bit of money to help with gas and such, to the possibility of hosting a 5K (way out of our scope of planning) to finally a dance-a-thon. Rebecca had been to several Zumba-thons and Sh'Bam classes and thought it would be a great way to raise money. The idea quickly grew legs and the next thing you know we had a website, facebook page, bank account, paypal account and we were ready to promote.

We started this to help lighten their load. We had no idea what to expect, what we got was amazing. Donations starting coming in through the website, people were sharing the facebook page, sponsors started coming in and donations for giveaways and auction items were overwhelming. We held the event yesterday (the 16th of June), and it went so well. Everyone who came out had a great time and we are so appreciative of the ones who came early to help set up and stayed late to help clean up.

The amount of love and prayers that has been poured out for this amazing family has blown my mind. The majority of donations that have come in have been from people who never even met this family. Praise God, we were able to raise a little over $4,000 to help with medical and funeral costs. There is no way that we (Rebecca, the Jackson Family and I) could ever thank you all enough.

From the bottom of our hearts, thank you to everyone who prayed, donated, volunteered, danced, sponsored and everything in-between.

To the moon and back...

Coupons

I've mentioned that a friend and I have started our own couponing website. It's a totally free site that is dedicated to helping real people save real money. We take most of the work out of it for you!

We aren't those crazy "extreme" couponers. We teach real world couponing (free classes available in central Florida).

I don't have a crazy stockpile that is taking over Moose's bedroom, my husband isn't having to sleep on boxes of cereal. I buy what I need and what I'll use (and if I get something for free or super cheap that I don't need, I can pass it to someone else who may need it). I have found that I am saving about $80 a week and with me only working part time, that is a HUGE help. My mom is saving about $100 a week. That's $400 a month! Crazy!

$31.98 paid for $109.10 in groceries!

That's an example of a trip I made last week, 71% saved! Not too shabby!

Anyway, just wanted to share. Check it out if you get a chance!

To the Moon and Back,

"Be Still and Know I am God"

While motherhood has been the most rewarding, stressful, beautiful, disgusting, hilarious, and bittersweet, it has also left me wondering, "How do I fit it all in?"

How do I fit in time for Moose?
How do I fit in time for hubby?
How do I fit in time to cook, clean and coupon (my new obsession)?
How do I fit in time to work?
How do I fit in time with the extended family?
How do I fit in time to exercise?
How do I fit in time for friends?
How do I fit in "me" time?
And most importantly...
How do I fit in time for God?

What? Scheduling time for God? You mean Sunday morning isn't enough? Oh, yea, Sunday morning... I remember doing something called "Church" on Sunday... prior to having Moose. Where can I find the time to be still and know that He is God?

Since I had Moose, on Sunday's you can find me in the nursery at church. I can't remember the last time I sat through a full service. Moose has decided that if I'm not in the nursery with him, then he must cry like he is being tortured, which leads to other kids crying and stressed out nursery workers and then no one is having fun. So to save the sanity of the poor parent who has volunteered their time, I either sit in the nursery with him, or I take him in the service and leave halfway through because he is wiggling.

Because of this, I have felt spiritually starved. Craving to get lost in His word, but never making it a priority. Tonight, I had the utmost pleasure of meeting with some other moms of little ones (without the little ones) who were also in need of a bible study. I have to say, it was so needed and I am so looking forward to more of these. I left study feeling blessed, comforted, reassured, supported and closer to these women than ever.

I'll leave you with a passage of scripture that was in our study tonight and ask you this, are you Martha or Mary?

³⁸ As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. ³⁹ She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. ⁴⁰ But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
   ⁴¹ “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, ⁴² but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

To the Moon and Back,