Tuesday, August 23, 2011

A tale of two spiders...

So, apparently, I am overwhelmingly attractive to spiders lately. Nasty, bugged eyed, nasty, eight-legged, nasty, hairy, nasty creatures.

The first instance happened when I was innocently making a deposit at my bank while talking on the phone to a dear friend. She must have thought I was being robbed because mid sentence I screamed into the phone and started whimpering. What she couldn't see was that a huge (ginormous) wolf spider had quickly scampered in and out of my rolled-down window.

When I caught my breath, I explained to her what happened, but reassured her that I was fine because it had gone back out of my truck. I continued my conversation (mostly reminiscing about the time that the spider scurried into my car window at the bank) and waited on my receipt from the teller.

Suddenly, without warning, the stupid spider ran back in and out of my truck followed by my screaming again. I quickly rolled up the window and waved to the teller (as if she understood that my wave meant I was forgoing my receipt due to a persistent arachnid that plaguing my car). I continued to whimper into the phone to Sarah, more shaken by the second attempted attack by said spider.

One little leg... two little legs... reaching around my mirror. AHHHH!!!! STUPID Spider.. He (must be a he, as persistent as he is being) crawled onto my mirror and laughed in my face "Ha ha ha... stupid human! Just wait til you park!" Shows what he knows. No way I am parking my car with a gigantic spider attached to the side of it. On down the road I went! reaching 30mph (still there), 45mpg (does he have super glue on his legs?), 50mph (starting to wobble), 55mph (VICTORY!). He flew off my mirror and landed in the middle of the road. To give you an idea of his size, I watched him hit the road in my rear-view mirror and roll down the street. Let that be a lesson to you silly spider...

Fast forward to yesterday... again at the bank (you'd think I had lots of money as much as I am at the bank). I pulled out on to the main road and stopped at the red light. I was looking out my window, minding my own business, when a moving shadow caught my attention. I slowly looked up and AHHHH another sticking wolf spider! Seriously?? Do I have a sign saying "Psst... Hey spiders.... come live here..."? I had flashbacks to the movie "Arachnophobia" Gross! The pic to the right is the actual spider as seen on my mirror THROUGH my rolled up window.

I tried the whole driving fast trick again, but to no avail. He crawled behind my mirror where, I'm assuming, he now resides. I imagine him back there, plotting and scheming a way to give me a heart attack by doing a sneak attack when I least expect it. Fantastic...

Maybe he got word of his brother.... Crap...

Moral to the story... be good to spiders, you never know when they will have the upper hand.

(There, I told them to be nice to you... can you leave now?)

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