Wednesday, September 14, 2011

I'm very put together...

Anyone who knows me personally, knows that I am very "put together". I'm very even keel and very in control of my emotions. (Insert sarcasm font) I'm so not that. I cry at stupid stuff (like episodes of Ghost Whisperer and ASPCA commercials), I'm an emotional train wreck since I had Moose.

Last night in bed at about 11:30pm (when I most definitely should have been sleeping), it hit me, Moose is turning 2. Not just hit me, knocked me down and stomped on my face.

It was totally a emotional hormone filled attack and totally irrational, but here are the thoughts that ran though my head as I cried uncontrollably and DH tried to console me (poor guy):

~ It's going by too fast..
~ He's really not a baby anymore
~ He's closer to not needing me
~ I don't want him to fall in love and get married and move away from me
~ I don't want him to outgrow my hugs
~ What if he is as horrible to me as I was to my parents when I was a teenager
~ It's not fair that when he becomes an adult, he'll probably be closer to Jon than to me
~ And many more irrational fears and thoughts that I'm sure I am completely overreacting with but insanity emotions are hard to control!

Dumb, I know, but every once and a while I freak out about it. Jon thinks I'm crazy because Moose is just now getting to be really fun! Then he proceeded to tell me how he compares Moose's two years to running and went into a very lengthy explanation. I was super impressed by his analogy but could not repeat it to save my life. He's such a good man. I love him to death and he totally got my mind off my anxiety.

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