A Goldfish's Hero

Save me!!

The other day I was cleaning a rental move-out with Ms G. When we got there, the renter walked us through the house and pointed out the things she wanted cleaned. We all chit chatted for a little bit making small talk and then the renter said she needed to get going. However, as she was walking out, she said, "Oh, there's a fish tank in the back room with a goldfish in it. Don't worry about it, we've just resigned to the fact that he's going to die."

Oh, uh, ok, you know, just ignore the fish on death row in the back room.

We went about our morning, cleaning when I finally made my way into the back room and saw the fish tank. The water was a murky green that was no longer transparent. I yelled to Ms G, "I feel bad for this fish. It's either going to suffocate or starve to death."

She continued to clean whatever she was working on, but a few minutes later, being the animal lover she is, she walked in to check out the fish. She peaked around the corner and said, "This poor fish! I don't want to see it die!"

Me "Well, what are we supposed to do? It's not our fish."

Her "I don't know, do you think I could catch it?"

Me "And do what with it?"

Her "Take it home? Maybe? I don't know, I don't want a fish, but I can't let it die. Do you think the pet store will take it?"

Me ".... I don't know"

Her "What could I put it in? A garbage bag? Do you have a bowl or something? I could go to the pet store when we are done and get a fish bowl."

Me (thinking about the random items floating around my car) "I don't have a bowl, but maybe a bag would work, like they do at the fair?"

Her "I don't know, don't they pump special air into those bags before they seal them?"

Ok, this sounded like a ridiculous question to me, initially, but she said it with such sincerity, that I began to question everything. I mean, what do I know, maybe they do have special fish air...

Me "Um, I don't think that's a thing. I think they just don't squeeze out all the air."

We bantered back and forth for far too long about this doomed goldfish. Finally, Ms G proclaimed "I'm gonna save it." She grabbed a cup and armed with her gloved hand, she approached the tank. he immediately became grossed out by the water, but as any good hero would do, she didn't let it deter her from saving the fair goldfish in distress. After about 15 minutes of "fishing" with a cup in green water while her glove filled up multiple times, she actually caught the thing!

She found a bowl in her own can and dumped the fish in. We continued cleaning, but then I had a thought, what if the owner was joking and comes home and her fish is missing? Is kidnapping a fish illegal? Would I be an accessory? I decided to text the owner. I asked her if she minded if Ms. G took the fish. Her response? "Not at all! She'd be doing me a favor! In fact, tell her she can take the whole tank, the other fish that is in it and every thing that comes with it. There's even a 55 gallon tank of the side of the house she can have (a bit of an overkill for one tiny goldfish, but hey, whatever)."

I told Ms G and we nearly died laughing, here she "fished" in nasty water for 15 minutes and braved the chunk of slime that landed on her arm, only to find out that she could have just taken the tank. She said "What am I going to do with a tank? I don't even want the stupid fish, I just don't want it to die!" I explained to her, that with the big tank, she was less likely to spill that water all over her car.

So we dumped most of the water out of the tank. I dumped goldie back in and we loaded the tank in her truck. Both fish then needed to survive for 3 more hours hanging out in a trunk, in the heat of the day, in Florida.

I checked in with Ms G the next day to see if they survived. She said they did and she gave them to her mom. She then said "Goldie keeps trying to eat all of my moms fish so I don't think he appreciated our heroic efforts." You're still a hero in my eyes, Ms. G!

to the moon and back,