Run, Forest, Run

I mentioned a few posts ago that I am working towards my goal of running a 5K. While that goal has been a little delayed because of our move, I am happy to report that I am working towards it full force now and have been for about 3 weeks or so. My friend, Lacey and I have decided to tackle the goal together. It always makes it nice to have an accountability partner. We even signed up for our first 5K race at Epcot. It's the Disney Royal Family 5K at the end of February. I plan to run (ok, realistically, jog) the whole way. No walking. I don't expect to win, just finish.

I want to prove I can do it and I want to be a good role model for my son. See the thing is, I have issues with following through with things for myself. I have great ideas and lofty expectations, but after about 2 weeks, I'm done. Now, if I am working for someone else, I have great follow through and will put my whole heart into it (makes no sense, I know). I want to make this goal the exception and the start of finishing things for me!

Now, back to running, I have to say, I am enjoying it much more than I thought I would. I mean, 3 weeks ago I was dying after jogging for 30 seconds and today I ran 5 minutes straight and a total of 16 minutes with short walking breaks between. I know I still have a way to go to reach 5k status, but I'll get there.

I have heard that exercise is a natural anti-depressant, but I have never experienced it for myself. I have exercised on a regular basis and besides weight-loss, I can't say that I noticed anything else. If you have read some of my previous posts, you know that I have struggled on and off with postpartum depression. There are days when I am great, and others when I am not so much. I have also been diagnosed with PMDD (which is terribly embarrassing, but since I'm using this as my therapy, it's ok!) which is a monthly struggle. HOWEVER... since I have been running, I have felt GREAT. Seriously, I wouldn't have believed it if I wasn't experiencing it.

From the day I had Moose, all I have said that I just want to feel normal mentally again (back to my old self) with out forcing everything and I am happy to say that running has brought that back for me. Don't get me wrong, I have an AMAZING God, hubby, son, family and friends who have all helped tremendously, but the running has given me that final boost. I can't really explain it but my mind is clearer, I am more at ease and way less stressed out.

I can't thank my hubby enough for supporting me and helping out more so I have time to run, and Lacey for darn near killing me by pushing me to my limits when we run together.

All in all, I am super excited about the 5K next month and I will definitely write about my experience... that is, if I survive...

Plus, if I am ever going to have a second child, I need to get this goal out of the way and hopefully it will help me be in the best shape ever!

To the moon and back,

"What?" not "Why?"

Several months ago, my brother-in-law (who is a phenomenal preacher) did a sermon on asking "What?" instead of "Why?" It's a great idea, the basis of which is when something bad happens, ask yourself, "What can I take from this situation?" or "What's the best way to turn this situation around?" instead of asking, "Why me?" or "Why did this happen?"

None of us know God's plan (man wouldn't life be simpler if we did!), so none of us will ever be able to answer the "Why" question with any certainty. We can, however, answer the "What?" question because that's our experience and what we are taking from it. Plus, asking "Why" can be more of a way to wallow in your own self-pity instead of trying to take ownership and change the situation.

Now that I have said all of that, I have to say I am still horrible at this whole question thing. My mind instantly goes to "Why, why, why.... woe is me... WOE IS ME!" I know it's all about changing my mindset, but man is that hard. After all it's been the only mindset I have had for 31 years, you know, the whole old dog/new tricks thing.

My family's life has been stressful lately, to say the least. We have lots of stuff going on all at once and I tend to look at it and go "Really? Cause I need more on my shoulders right now? Why can't anything go right?" but I know I am not the only one stressing and I should be asking "What can I do to help this situation? How is Jon feeling about all this? Is there something I can do ease the worry on his end?" I know I need to have faith, but when things seem to be going bad, it's hard not to say why. As in, "Why can't I strangle the driver in the car in front of me?"

Ahhh... life, with all of it's ups and downs, is worth it, especially compared to the alternative!

Here's to asking "What" not "Why"!