Billy Ray

Do you see this beautiful boy here and his gorgeous, blonde locks? Isn't he amazing and perfect? So innocent... Ethereal.... Ok, I'm biased, but come on!

I love his hair. It's messy, curly, soft and wild like him. I have had so many people say things like "His hair is so great, but when are you going to cut it?" "Doesn't he need a trim?" "Does SHE get along with her brother?"

She? My precious baby boy, who is almost always dressed in blue to bring out his eyes, has been mistaken for a girl. More than once. I didn't want to cut it, but even Junior kept fussing with it, pushing it out of his eyes.

I don't do milestones. I am the sappiest person ever and it seems like it's even worse since having Junior. I mean, shoot, I've been known to cry at commercials.

So, I succumbed to peer pressure and here we are, the first haircut milestone. While I was getting Moose's hair cut, I asked the lady doing his, if she could just trim up a little around Junior's face and the top. She said "I could, but So-and-so is better with curls, let him do it. HEY, SO-AND-SO, she'd like you to cut her boys hair."

And just like that, before I could process what was going on, I was sitting in the barber chair with Junior on my lap and the guy coming at us with scissors. I kept saying, "just a little off the top." "I just want it out of his eyes." "Don't cut too much."

But Junior was on my lap, and I couldn't really see what was going on. As he was finishing up, he said, "oh this is great, he's going to look just like that country singer." I didn't know what he meant at the time, nor when we got to the car because of the way it was combed. However, after Junior messed it up some, I saw it... Billy Ray Cyrus. My sweet little boy was sporting a mullet. I cried. He's a toddler, there's no need for him to have business in the front and a party in the back.

I hate it and can't wait for it to grow out. I trimmed up some around the back myself to make it less mullet-like. That helped a little, but the guy cut one side so short that it's hard to hide it. If I comb it and try to "style" it, it's a little better, but seriously? He's 19 months, he immediately rubs his head on the sofa or car seat and messes it up again. I'm traumatized and not sure if I'll ever cut it again. I'm also not posting an after picture. Sad face...

Detox update: Today went well. I have had a dull headache all day and around 2:00, I crashed hard and had to lay down for a little bit. The food is still great. I made Sweet & Hot Ginger Chicken with broccoli bacon salad, coconut lime quinoa and even drop biscuits. They say that through day 5ish is the worst, so we'll see!

to the moon and back,

The Paradigm Shift

When did I become the old one in the group?

I graduated high school at 17 (my mom got me into kindergarten early) so I was always the youngest in my class. That, in turn, made me the youngest when I started college. Then, I went to work for a small uniform store and, yep, you guessed it, the youngest there, too. My next job was for an attorney and I was the youngest there by far. At my next job, I worked for a local builders association and even though there were at most 4 employees, we had at one point over 650 members. Other than Greg (who even though is a few months younger, definitely passed as older than me because he was prematurely balding and had an unnatural obsession for politics) everyone I worked with was older than me.

I have always been the baby. I'm not saying that's a good thing. It made me work harder to prove myself, but it always made me feel like no one took me serious, because "what could she possible know, she's just a child" (by the way, I typed that in my best fake British accent because it sounds more condescending). I have carried that complex with me, even into my 30's.

But then something happened... I got involved in my church and a small group. I have been fortunate enough to meet some of the best friends I have ever had through that small group. However, one of the first times we hung out outside of our small group was on a New Years Eve, which just happens to be my birthday. I made a comment about it being hard for me to write the correct year when I'm writing out 12/31/whatever because I want to put 12/31/79. One of the girls there (who is now one of my very best friends) said "Oh, I didn't know you were that old." What? Sheepishly, I said "I'm not that old." Completely embarrassed, she said "Oh my, I didn't mean it that way, I meant, that you just don't look like you could be that old. Oh dear, that doesn't sound right either, I didn't mean it in a bad way!" Sure, you didn't, Sarah... I got ya... ;)

That solidified it... I am the old one in the group, in the words of Greg, I have dust in my shoes...

The bad part is that it has transferred to my job, too. I'm not the oldest, but I'm not the youngest either. I know I couldn't stay the youngest forever, but maybe I should start looking for a new job... like at a nursing home... or a diner or something.

Anyway, it's getting late please excuse me as I grab my cane and head to the kitchen for some Ovaltine and prunes to enjoy while I finish my Sunday crossword.

to the moon and back,

Potty training, schmotty training

Now, I'm the girl who cries at every pivotal (and if we are being totally honest, not so pivotal) moment in Moose's life. He's growing up way to fast for me and every milestone means we are one day closer to adolescence, where I will know nothing and he will know everything and not need me anymore. This current milestone, though, is one that I am ready to be done with... Potty Training.

Boo... That's all I have to say. Boo to potty training.

Moose will be 3 in September and we have been potty training for a few months now. Initially we did the naked method. I have to say, it worked really well to get him recognizing the act of potty-ing.

Most days he does great (nights are a different story, even with cutting off drinks at 7 and putting a diaper on him, there are mornings where it's like he got up and went swimming in his p-jammers and then climbed back into bed). I'll hear, "Mommy, I think I have to go potty."

But, then there are those days (which seem to be the days where I am already at my wits end) that he just doesn't think he needs to use the big boy potty. "Mommy, do I have a diaper on?" "No dear, you never have a diaper on during the day anymore. Did you potty?" "Yeah..." (insert frowny face here). "I poopied mommy." (insert major frowny face here).

Then there's me asking "Moose, do you have to potty?" "Mmm, nope!" again, "Moose, let's try to go potty" "But I don't have to go." Then two minutes later, "Mommy, my feet are cold." Really? Could that be because you are standing in a puddle of pee?

Naps are the same. Some days he will take his normal 3 to 4 hour nap (he's an anomaly, I know) and wake up bone dry, but other days, he's soaked after an hour.

Then, two weeks will go by with no accidents (cue the "Hallelujah" music) and just when I think, "By Jove, I think he's got it!" we have another day filled with accidents.

Don't get me wrong, he's only 2 (I tend to forget that because he is a very big kid as well as very mature and well behaved for his age, no one believes us when we say he's not even 3) and I know that accidents happen, but there are days that I would so much rather clean up a dirty diaper than a dirty pair of underwear. Especially when we are out and about.

The part that gets me is the in-between. He's not fully potty trained, but definitely not in a diaper anymore.

This too shall pass...

to the moon and back...

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Potty Time!

Wasn't this just last week?

My baby is growing up... it's bitter sweet. I am so proud of him and I am thrilled at how he is developing, but it means he's slowly becoming a little boy and less a baby. Yes, I am one of those mothers. I cried at his first steps, I cried when he didn't need his pacie, I cry when I even think about turning his crib into a toddler bed (yes, he is still in a crib, don't judge me, he's never tried to climb out). Heck, I bawl my eyes out at the thought of him being a teenager and not needing his mommy and some teenage chick replaces me as the love of his life. Wow, that's incredibly sappy and yet, I as I typed it, my eyes started watering. I know, I'm ridiculous. Let's just accept that and move on.

Where did this wobbling 1 year old go?

The milestone that he crossed tonight was going pee-pee on the potty. Since Monday we have been working with him and trying to get him him used to the idea of going on the "big boy" potty. He has been wearing "big boy" underpants at Mamaw's and she has been encouraging him to pee in the shower and in the yard (don't ask, she lives in the country, no one can see him). Well he has managed to soak her recliner, leave puddles on the floor and create a mess on the porch at which point he quickly told her that she had to clean it up. Still no interest in the potty.

I would pick him up after work and bring him home and put him down for a nap (in a diaper) and as soon as he would wake, I'd run him to the potty (all the while feeling the warmth grow in his diaper). In the 30 seconds it took me to get him from his room to the potty, he had already gone.

Who is this little boy?? Where has the time gone?

Well, today while at my moms, he actually acknowledged when he was going. Yay! He was so excited to tell me about it when I got there to pick him up.

When he woke up from his nap today, we missed it again and he went before I got him to the potty. So I changed him and we went to a friends birthday dinner. We left the house around 5:30pm and didn't get home until around 9:00pm (we had to stop by the store). When we walked in, I said "Moose, do you need to go potty?" and he actually said "YES!"

I said "Ok, lets get to the bathroom, quick! Quick!" we ran down the hall and I got his pants off and pulled his diaper off. It was completely dry! I set him on the potty and said "Ok, you can go!" He got a huge smile on his face and said "Ok"

**Tinkle Tinkle** "Oh Moose! What's that?" He said "I'm going pee-pee!" and then squealed and got an even bigger grin on his face! He yelled for daddy to come and when the hubby got there Moose screamed "I going potty!!!"

I think we all screamed and there were high-fives thrown around and then a naked toddler running through the house asking to call everyone he knows so he can tell them. It was the most precious thing ever. To see the pride in his eyes and to see how excited he was took my breath away. I know it sounds incredibly silly to say that my son peeing on the potty would take my breath away, but if you could have seen the look on his face, it was priceless.

We have an amazing little boy, who will one day be an even more amazing man and while I want it to take a very long time getting here, I am excited to see the person he will become.

I love you, Moose....

To the moon and back,

Thirty-what?

I'm 31, 32 in December? When did that happen and where was I? Somehow I lost about 13 years somewhere.

I may come off all calm, cool, collected and confident, but most days I feel like I'm still 18. Straight out of high school, feeling like no one will take me serious. I think that stems from working in a job where I was always the youngest (by at least around 10 years) and I felt like they never put a whole lot of stock in what I said even though I rocked at what I did. The other thing I was good at was eventually getting them to do what I wanted them to do (usually they took credit for it) and it was successful. No matter how good things turned out, I never "proved" myself to them. It seemed as though I was always the "kid" playing dress up.

Now that I am away from that, I still find myself falling into way of thinking. Why is it that every year, the number changes, but our minds don't? It's like my mind can't grasp the idea of of being "grown up"! I mean, really, I'm a mom?? Aren't moms supposed to be super smart and know everything? Seemed like my mom always did. In fact, I still call her for everything... yes, pretty much EVERYTHING. When am I supposed to know that stuff? Did I miss a class somewhere? How am I going to pass along wisdom, when secretly I'm calling my mom on the phone asking for her answer?

So, I'm still not sure what I want to be when I grow up, nor do I know when I will actually be grown up, but I'm getting pretty good at faking it! :)

I'm wondering though, do you ever feel grown or is there always that insecure little kid lurking in your subconscious? Do super successful business men feel their age? Or are they always second guess themselves too?

No Pacie, No Pacie, No Pacie

Tonight, Moose went to bed with out his pacie and with out even asking for it. Last night was the first time we tried it with out the pacie because of his stitches and no fight then either. I know that most mama's would be thrilled if their babies didn't have a problem with giving up the pacie...

I am not one of those mama's.

You may be asking "Now, Jen, why aren't you happy?" Well, let me tell you. Moose is my baby, my only baby. I know he is almost 2, but he's still my baby and other than the fact that he still wears diapers, the pacie is the last piece of his babydom... I'm not ready for him to no longer be a baby. Boo... BOO, I SAY!

Moose has never been one of those babies that "had" to have his pacie, meaning if we left the house without it, it wasn't a problem, but he still liked it. My husband and I didn't mind him having it. Don't get me wrong, we knew one day we would have to wean him off of it, I just thought he'd put up a little bit of a fight. I mean, look at Maggie Simpson, she's been enjoying her pacie for like 20+ years now...

I should have known that he would be easy to wean. He has always had a time frame for things. He never liked to be held for too long, he was swaddled every night for six months and then one night out of no where was done, he picked up a sippy cup one day and never went back to the bottle. Guess that's how the pacie will be, too.

Anyone who knows me, knows that Moose's milestones are bitter sweet in my eyes. I'm thrilled that he is walking, talking, eating solid food... but seriously, it comes way too quick for me! He will be 2 next month (pause for a brief freak out) and I have no idea where it went. Didn't I just bring him home from the hospital last week?

Really!?! Pardon me while I get him all packed up for college, it'll be here before I know it.